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NY Rangers @ Carolina Hurricanes Preview

posted Apr 2, 2009, 8:09 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Apr 2, 2009, 10:56 AM ]

First of all, let me clear something up. Not for public use? Go fuck yourself.

Hey, you know who is awesome? Me. You know who else is awesome? Ryan Callahan. Boy oh boy, is this kid set for super stardom, or what? Sure he's only got 35 points (21 goals, 14 assists, +3) in his first full season with the Rangers, but the stats don't always tell the story. I tell the story and the story is that Ryan Callahan is going to be huge.
Anyone who watched the Rangers play this whole season, and that should be everyone on planet Earth, has noticed that Callahan flies around the ice like he's coked up at a crystal meth fair. It's those little plays- the forecheck and backcheck, the Georgi swilling, the neutral zone pressure, the boyish good looks- that don't always show up on the stat sheet, but ultimately throw the game in the Rangers' favor.
He throws his weight around too. He'll take the hits and dish em out. I've actually become numb to hearing MSG announcers Sam Rosen and Joe Micheletti say "Callahan checks [this fuckface]" or "GREAT hit by Callahan on [that retard]", much the same way I've become numb to Lunqvist blocking a shot with his head (Yes, it happens all the time Versus crew).
All it took for his offense to explode was the right system. And he is thriving under Tortellini's "No Xs and Os" run and gun approach. Over the past ten games he has tallied 10 points (6 goals and 4 assists). Tortellini had said he believed Dubinsky could be a top winger in the game but I bet Tortellini found himself a new goomba in Callahan.
Normally I just rip on another team in these previews, but today I've decided to give Callahan the credit he deserves. When he reads this later - which he will - I just hope that maybe, just maybe, when he's making sweet love to a Russian prostitute, he thinks to himself "Gee, people do appreciate me out there!" and then decides to refuse payment to the Russian prostitute, beats up her pimp and downs a bottle of Jameson.
The game is on at 7pm on MSG...... MUST win..... Horsies!