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NY Post Reports Avery May Return to the NY Rangers. Yeah right, I Believe the Post.

posted Feb 6, 2009, 6:47 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 11:36 AM ]
I know what you're thinking. Three hockey posts in a row?  Go fuck yourself with a Sidney Crosby, you useless fucks. Let me clarify that previous sentence before I move on. YOU actually inquire about another hockey post and I call you useless fucks. Now that we're settled, let me tell you about the NY Post.
According to the sagacious editors at the NY Post, the Rangers are in discussion with the Dallas Stars concerning a "timetable under which Dallas would put Avery on waivers and then, presuming that he clears, assign him to the Wolf Pack." According to what "the Post has learned", management personnel, coaches and players "yielded a consensus that Avery's return to the Rangers is very much worth pursuing and that his injection into the lineup this season would be a constructive move." I have no problem whatsoever with that dandy prick coming back to the Rangers. I hope to Brandon Jacobs, this Post story is true. Unfortunately, the Post has a history of fucking things up. There is a reason why in a 2004 Pace University survey, the NY Post was deemed the least credible major news outlet in NY (The Post was the only news source to attain a higher negative than positive rating on the credibility scale (44% not credible - 39% credible)*.  Here are a few examples of the NY Post jumping the gun or completely fucking up a story.

1. The NY Post reported that former NJ Net Derrick Coleman needed a heart transplant. Coleman simply had a minor blood clot that dissolved with time. Coleman laughed it off after he heard the news came from the Post. Enough said.
2. The NY Post prints the headline "Kerry's Choice" in reference to John Kerry's selection of a Vice Presidential nominee. The next day, the Post ran another headline "Kerry's Real Choice". Smooth Move, NY Post. Real Smooth.
3.  After the 2003 ALCS game where Aaron Boone hit an 11th inning series winning home run against the Red Sox, the Post still printed an editorial with the opposite outcome of the Red Sox advancing to the World Series. Apparently The NY Post couldn't be bothered with checking editorials.
4. On the NY Post's website, they broke the news that Barry Bonds had tested positive for steroids 1 month before breaking the home run record. The post fucked up the dates though. According to the real testimony, Bonds had tested positive a year before. Yeah we all hate Bonds but at least the Post should try to get the news right.

There are a whole bunch of other stories that compromise the journalistic integrity of the Post but I'll stop there because I'm lazy. Even though the Post blows, I still want to believe the story that Avery will come back to the Rangers, just like I want to believe in life on Mars, sea monsters roaming the deep seas and C.C. Sabathia's weight being no concern on his performance in 4 years. That's how much faith I put in the NY Post at this point. I lump that paper in with the National Enquirer and the Weekly World News. If the Post comes out with a story about the Kraken or little green men and the stories are true, then I guess I'll say that I've lived too long.

*The NY Post, The Daily News, The Wall Street Journal and 1010 Wins all had discrepancies between approval and credibility. In my opinion, The NY Post and The Daily News had discrepancies because they are news/ gossip magazines. I don't read the WSJ or listen to 1010 Wins so I cannot and should not put forth an opinion. The point being that the NY Post can get away with printing erroneous or fabricated stories because people enjoy the unsubstantiated gossip. They approve of the paper but they don't necessarily believe it's stories. Yeah, that's some fucked up shit.

Also, we're allowed to make mistakes on this website because we rule.