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Become Vengeance Brandon. Become Wrath.

posted Dec 5, 2008, 1:14 PM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 12:45 PM ]
The New York Rangers are a shifty team. They make a true believer out of a fan only to then rip the fan's hearts out and eat it. Sometimes being a Rangers fan is like getting a blow job while eating a sirloin steak (See Wednesday, Pittsburgh). Other times, being a Rangers fan is like getting a blow job from a circular saw (See last night, Montreal). A sports fan will glorify at the peaks and agonize in the valleys. A sports fan will also hold out hope for certain players For example over the course of this young and nubile season, I found myself thinking "Maybe I should give Dmitri Kalinin a fair shake, Maybe it's just bad luck".
Now, I'm singing a different tune.  His +/- is at solidly putrid -13. He gives up pucks all over the ice which invariably become goals for the opposition. It's too much for fan to handle. We can hate Kalinin but hatred can only take us too far. That is why the changes should come from within the Rangers organization. But who will take the reins and instill the change we need?
Another player that has hit the downcycle is Brandon Dubinsky. Looking at his game log, I see that he has been nonexistent since November 24th and even that game was against the lowly Phoenix Coyotes. Brandon has tallied 4 points in the past 16 games. I would have never noticed this because the rosy cheeked sweetheart gets unconditional love from me. You've been getting by on your boyish good looks for too long, Brandon. Now is the time for you to take control of this team and your true calling. Dmitri Kalinin needs to be killed. Nothing short of  Kalinin's death will help this Rangers team. You must kill Dmitri Kalinin. You know you want to. People go missing all the time. Sure, there will be an investigation but it's nothing you can't handle. Commit this righteous capital punishment for the fans, Commit this mortal sin for the team, Commit this execution for yourself. Become Vengeance, Brandon. Become wrath.