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A Message for Sean Avery

posted Dec 3, 2008, 10:40 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 12:48 PM ]
Back in '95, Elisha Cuthbert was looking for her big break in my new action movie, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory - and who could blame her?  That movie fuckin' ruled.  Let's just say I gave her some action, but she didn't get the role.  You could say I explored every inch of that "Dark Territory."  Get it?  I think you get it.  Lord knows she did.
Anyway, I would've mentioned this earlier, but she was only 13 at the time and the statute of limitations hadn't run out.  Now that Sean Avery is bashing someone for digging the Cuthbert Sloppy Seconds, I feel like I need to set the record straight.  So, Sean, how'd you like the taste of Steven Seagal's Lighting Bolt?  That's what I call my penis.  AND my energy drink.
So if you'd like to taste what all the stars, like Elisha Cuthbert and Sean Avery, drink, then pick up a case of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt!
The energy drink that started Elisha Cuthbert's career!  And ended her childhood...