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1 Boy, 1 Man and 1 Cup

posted Jun 13, 2009, 8:43 AM by Steven Seagal
I started reading this article about the Stanley Cup final in the NY Daily News this morning only find some startling news. Here is an excerpt from the article , followed by my expected reaction to a certain unexpected chunk of information.

"Crosby took [the Stanley Cup] from NHL commissioner Gary Bettman and skated a half lap to center ice before handing it off to Bill Guerin, who joined the team in a trade deadline deal with the Islanders and became a champion for the first time since 1995 with the Devils.

Lemieux, the No. 1 pick in the 1984 draft by Pittsburgh, celebrated on the ice with Crosby - the phenom who has been living in the owner's house since joining the team.

The Penguins turned the tables on the Red Wings and..."

Wait a minute, go back for a second. Sidney Crosby lives with Mario Lemieux? He must live in Mario Lemieux's old house or something. Maybe Crosby bought Lemieux's house or he was just given the house as a gift? Nope. He lives there.

A quick Wikipedia search shows that indeed Sidney Crosby, all 21 years of age, lives with another man, his boss no less, and his family during the hockey season. Now I'm here to judge because I moved out of my own parents' home when I was a young boy and lived in a dojo, that I built myself, situation high up on a mountain top, sort of where Batman trained in Batman Begins but with no crying and less butt sex. I was 6 years old at the time, living on my own, strangling mountain goats and sherpas with my bare hands for sustenance. Only after years of intense training, thousands of murdered sherpas and complete mental stabilization did I return to civilization to become the action movie star Steven Seagal that you see today. That's how all boys should live, according to me. Sidney must need some extra comforting.

Sidney Crosby is 21 years old, making $8.7M a year, and he lives with another man and his family. I'm not saying Mario Lemieux and Sidney Crosby succumbed to their primal forbidden urges when Mrs. Lemieux and family were away but okay, yeah that's absolutely what I'm saying. I guess all I can say is that this arrangement isn't all that unexpected given that I hate Crosby and always expect the worst. Well, Congratulations on The Stanley Cup victory you creepy bastards. You better wash that thing when you're done with it.

This is just disgusting. You're a grown man, Mario. You have a wife and kids.