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Unstoppable? Eli Manning is.*

posted Jan 12, 2009, 6:12 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 12:08 PM ]
*I received a text message from an inbred Eagles fan before the game yesterday that said "You a little scared that old school dildo Eli will show up today?" Here is my post game answer: 15/29 169 yards and 2 interceptions. It appears that extra chromosomes and missing teeth give Philadelphians voodoo foresight. At around noon yesterday, 2005 Eli Manning discovered the Flux capacitor, drove his hybrid to it's maximum speed of 88 mph, clubbed 2008 Eli Manning in the face and replaced him in the huddle. That's the only valid explanation for the miscarriage that was Eli Manning's performance.
Sure, there are at least 68 different scapegoats for yesterdays cancer inflicting game but I'll stop here. Otherwise, I'll start eating shards of glass. I'll just say that the Eagles didn't win this game. The Giants simply lost it on their own.
Football season is over. Pitchers and Catchers report in 31 days. Not soon enough.

(Editor's Note: Things aren't so bad after all. Apparently last night NBC presented the Golden Globe Awards Ceremony, which in terms of our tastes, means absolutely nothing. It has recently been brought to my attention that once proud, now proud in another way, former Giant Tiki Barber had been given the duty of being a "reporter" on the red carpet preview before the ceremony. According to the Associated Press, when Tiki questioned Jeremy Piven about Piven's decision to abruptly leave some sort of play because of illness, 'Piven "likened his abrupt departure from the show to a team doctor telling Barber that he had to leave a game'. Barber then joked that he often ignored such orders". I would believe that if Barber didn't retire because he bitched about practice being too hard and showering with other men making his dick too hard. The Giants always have next season, but Tiki has the Tony Awards show red carpet preview. Way to go Tiki.