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To support Eagles, Philadelphia Mayor Changes Surname to PleaseGodBurnThisCityToTheGroundI'dRatherDieThanLiveHereForAnotherSecond.

posted Jan 15, 2009, 8:03 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 11:57 AM ]

After hearing of Pittsburgh mayor Luke Ravenstahl's decision to change his surname to Steelerstahl, Philadelphia mayor Michael A. Nutter has decided to capitalize on the Eagles conference championship appearance. In a press conference held earlier this morning, Michael A. Nutter legally changed his name to reflect his support for the city's most beloved team and support for the city itself. Mayor Nutter chose his new name to be Michael A. PleaseGodBurnThisCityToTheGroundI'dRatherDieThanLiveHereForAnotherSecond.
The Philadelphia mayor knows it isn't the most orthodox of names but feels "[the surname] represents the overall attitude toward Philadephia that is held by all past and present residents of Philadelphia as well as residents of every city in the United States. I'd bet you a Pat's cheesesteak that even residents of foreign cities would feel this way if, God forbid, they ever visited Philadelphia." 
Former Philadelphia resident Dr. FoxyRotten hailed the Mayor's name change. "That name is a perfect representation of Philly. I used to wake up, stinking like week-old rice pudding and spam, asking, no, begging God to burn Philadelphia to the ground or kill me. Why do you think we tried to destroy the city after the Phillies won? We didn't care about that team. We just wanted an excuse to tear the city down. If the Eagles win or lose this weekend, this city is going to burn."
After hearing Dr. FoxyRotten's remarks, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb said "Whew, it's a good thing we can tie this weekend."