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The Jets Get Their Righteous Comeuppance From One of Their Own

posted Dec 29, 2008, 7:12 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 12:21 PM ]

Chad Pennington has got to be feeling like a cool million dollars right now. Sure that's a cool million who still has trouble throwing the ball deep but a cool million who got his revenge. He was brushed aside by the Jets to make room for the Ol' Gunslinger, who will again become the Ol' Tearslinger in a press conference announcing his retirement in a few weeks. In a "win and in" game, Chad ended up 22/30 with 200 yards and two touchdown passes. Broadway Brett ended up 20/40 with 233 yards, one touchdown pass and THREE interceptions. Now when interviewed after the game, Chad was nothing but gracious. He took the high road and did emphasize that "It's not a revenge factor". Chad then said "This week, being the 17th week, it was strictly focused on winning the championship, knowing that we controlled our own destiny. It just so happened that it had to come through New York. That's the only way fate would have it.'' He may have taken the high road but that road is littered with lies. Of course it felt great to make it to the playoffs but to beat the team that discarded you and then send them home must feel even greater. If I were Chad, and I must remind you that I am a HUGE asshole, I would have said the following: "I'd like to thank that wrangler wearin', rider mowerin', pass happy-interception magnet BITCH Brett Favre for unretiring and then murdering the Jets franchise the same way I did for so many years. If you don't think I planned all of this then you are all crazy. The New York media destroyed me and now it's my time for revenge. Fuck you Mangini. Good luck getting fired. Fuck you Woody Johnson. Sign Brett another year. I implore you. Fuck you New York Media. I got mine. I'm out." Then, as Chad Pennington, I drop the microphone and would have the stadium sound system play The Deftones' "my own summer (shove it)" on full volume causing peoples' ear drums to rupture. Of course, I am not Chad Pennington. I am sitting in my underwear drinking hot chocolate with Kahlua in it. Yeah it's 10 AM on Monday morning. Fuck you for judging me. But I just have to say, way to go Chad Pennington, you got your revenge. You became wrath. Now only if you killed Brett Favre, I would have taken back all the terrible things I said about your mother and sister. On second thought, no I wouldn't. Must I remind you that I am a HUGE asshole?