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Small Tremor Felt in NY Metropolitan Area Shortly Before 8PM EST

posted Jan 5, 2009, 4:18 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 12:17 PM ]
Events have dictated that The NY Football Giants of New York will host Donovan McNabb and The Philadelphia Eagles at 1 PM on Sunday, January 11th, as the Will of Jacobs unfolds to the eyes of mortals.  The NY Metropolitan area was largely silent this weekend, as the Giants rested, but a small tremor could be felt in the early evening as the final seconds ticked off the clock in the Eagles' victory over the Vikings, and Donovan McNabb caught a ball on the sideline and began dancing around like a 5 year old.  Sources at US Geological Survey (USGS) said the tremor originated in the approximate location of the home of Justin Tuck, Destroyer of Worlds, and registered a 4.2 on the Richter Magnitude Scale.  Minor damage was recorded in the area, but no serious injuries were reported.  Tuck was dismissive of the incident when reached for comment, laughing and saying he became excited for Sunday "watching that little bitch dance around like he just found a pony under the Christmas tree."  Tuck apologized for any damage he may have caused, vowing to focus his incredible destructive power on the Eagles' offense and to ensure that "McNabb spends more time on his back than his whore of a mother."

The late goofy bitch, Donovan McNabb