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Firestarter Clinches Home Field Advantage Throughout Playoffs

posted Dec 21, 2008, 7:06 PM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 12:30 PM ]
Brandon Jacobs, the Creator Of The Universe, clinches home field advantage and a first round bye for the Super Bowl Champion New York Giants with 3 TDs in a must win game.  Turns out, Justin Tuck, Destroyer of Worlds, calls Jacobs "The Firestarter."  Since we want to fuck Drew Barrymore (in this picture) about as much as we want to fuck Jacobs, we agree.  Sorry, that was blasphemous.  Ward gave us over 200 yards to clinch the victory as the Giants realized they needed to get back to the run.  Thank Jacobs that Coughlin came to his senses.

Anyway, the real hero here is Hilary Duff, who's photo spread in Maxim is ABSOLUTELY responsible for the entire fourth quarter and overtime period.  Thank you, HIlary, we won't forget it - even when we're rich.  We'll listen when you're ready to talk.

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