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10 Reasons Why Brandon Jacobs is The Creator

posted Nov 25, 2008, 12:27 PM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 12:51 PM ]
10. Rushes for touchdowns in his sleep
9.  Gets high and goes tie shopping 
8.  Like Justin Tuck, eats babies
7. In his free time, sells shoes, childrens coloring books, and physics related T-shirts on the side of the road.
6.  Walks into the end zone on his hands.
5.  Murders at least one defender per game
4. Unleashes guttural screams of fury that empty the stadium and cause pandemonium
3. Impregnates self asexually, thus assuring a continuous line of succession of Brandon Jacobs for running back of the NY Giants.
2. Is not this guy