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Yanks vs Twins Notes

posted Mar 1, 2009, 7:11 AM by Steven Seagal
I watched the encore presentation of the Yankees-Twins spring training game Sunday morning (no, YOU'RE pathetic) while I waited for the Mets-Astros (live) to be played on PIX.  P-I-X!!!!! PIX!!!!!!!!  I was half paying attention (watching a not-live, exhibition game of a team you don't really care about isn't exactly riveting) and cleaning up my apartment when I decided I should start jotting down some of the gems spouting forth from the Kenny Albert/Michael Kay duo.  Here are a few:

  • Dan Giese was in some trouble, looking for a double play to get himself out of the 3rd inning.  Kenny's call is something like "He was looking for a double play and only came up with half of it."  One out, you might assume?  Nope - a double.  One half of a double play is a double.  Half of a triple play is presumably a triple.  My only question is what is (home run)*2?
  • Michael Kay talked to A-rod the other day.  He told him he was "disappointed in him."  A-rod said he was sorry.  Apparently, Michael Kay is A-rod's dad.
  • Kenny Albert is also disappointed in A-rod and told him so.  I wonder if A-rod is going to offer to pick up some extra chores around the Kay/Albert household to make amends?  It would mean a lot, A-rod, if nobody had to ask you to mow the lawn.
  • Michael Kay doesn't watch C-SPAN because he "doesn't like to get depressed."  At first I thought this was retarded, probably because I hate Michael Kay and am immediately skeptical of everything that comes out of his mouth, until he says "...maybe if they gave scores.  I don't have much depth to me..."  Neither do I, Michael, and maybe I would if they gave scores, too.  Well done.
  • Discussing size of older players and power, Yogi Berra comes up as a power hitter who wasn't a very big guy, prompting this exchange from Kay and Albert "Yogi was a power hitter, and he's not very tall at all."  "Well, he's in the hall of fame.  He stands [his emphasis] tall."  True, Kenny, true.  Good point.
  • Michael Kay speculates, based on the fact that he saw a poker tournament on TV the other day, that Kei Igawa is wearing sunglasses because he doesn't want to betray his intentions to the hitters.  Undoubtedly, Michael, I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that he's playing in a Florida sunfield.  He's probably bluffing on this next pitch.
  • They're referring to George Steinbrenner Field.  I always thought Yanks spring training facility in Tampa was called Legends Field.   This seems like a bad decision for the Yanks; they've always played the "legacy" card, like they're the classiest organization/sports franchise in the world (this is what makes them seem so fucking pretentious) - and they do it well, partly because they make the organization seem timeless.  "Legends Field" fit perfectly in this mold (can it get more pretentious?), changing the name to be named after an owner seems comparitively cheap.  Just a thought.
  • I haven't seen Billy Crystal anywhere at George Steinbrenner field today.  I wonder if he's injured?