News‎ > ‎MLB‎ > ‎

US Economy Contracts Only 1.0% In 2nd Quarter! Carlos Beltran's Knee Hurts Only Twice Shagging Fly Balls in Outfield! Hooray!

posted Aug 4, 2009, 5:46 AM by Steven Seagal
Recent news out of the NY Mets camp could make even the most skeptical and pessimistic Mets fan light up with irrepressible excitement and optimism.  This website, known as a model of restraint and even-handed reporting, cannot help but proclaim the inevitable turn around in the Mets fortunes this season, based on the following terrific news (reported on, here:
  • Beltran fields about 30 fly balls in the outfield, feels pain in his knee only twice!
  • Beltran runs pain free... 6 MPH... In a pool...
  • Billy Wagner throws 8 pitches in rehab assignment
  • Delgado has no timetable for his return
  • No Reyes setback reported... in this article
  • No news of the deaths of JJ Putz, John Maine, Fernando Martinez, or Fernando Nieve - so they are, presumably, still alive

If you're wondering where the first part of the headline comes from, or how it fits in, you can find that here:  It seems the qualifications for "improvement" have really taken a nosedive, not just in the economic world but in the NY Mets world as well.  I guess the economy and the Mets have reached approximately equal depths of destitution.  Just be thankful we're not at Nationals' level, or we'd all be out of a job.  Except me.  I'm self employed.