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This is Why People Hate the Yankees

posted Jul 24, 2009, 6:40 PM by Steven Seagal

I was watching the game yesterday and during one of the commercial breaks, I see an advertisement for the two products you see above - "Yankees Grass Seed (tm)" and "Yankees Sod (tm)."  The commercial went on to say that this grass, whether purchased in seed form or already-grass form, is the exact same variety of Kentucky Bluegrass that grows in Yankees Stadium!  Holy shit, I need to get out there and buy some for the roof!  We could call it "Yankees Stadium South," and maybe - just maybe - if we build it, the ghosts of the Yankee greats will come to play on our roof at night.

Frankly, I don't understand why the Yanks would choose to stop there.  The opportunity for Yankees Topsoil (tm), Yankees Fertilizer (tm), Yankees Insecticide (tm), etc seems too big to pass up.  The team's groundskeeper should submit a list of products he uses on the field to Home Depot, they could throw a Yankees sticker on it, and charge twice as much!

By the way, one of my favorite things about this product is the (tm) - meaning that "Yankees Grass Seed" is a trademark of the New York Yankees.  It's probably right up there with "The House That Ruth Built," or "The Bronx Bombers."  It struck me to find out what else was a trademark of the New York Yankees, but the search has proven difficult as I keep getting Turkey Hill Ice Cream pages.  Perhaps I will try to dig deeper into this for another post, but for now - I stumbled upon Yankees Grass Seed (tm)'s facebook page.  If you think I'm kidding, I assure you I'm not - click the link.  New York Yankees Grass Seed (tm) has 38 fans.  I urge you to join the ranks.