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Ryan Zimmerman Reveals Secret of Hitting Streak to Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun

posted May 13, 2009, 11:41 AM by Steven Seagal
Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun reporters recently sat down with Nationals 3B Ryan Zimmerman to discuss his now 30 game hitting streak and what's suddenly changed this career .288 hitter into Ted Williams. What spurred this investigation was a report from ESPN's smug little fuck face reporter Buster Olney who reported that some scouts monitoring Zimmerman saw that he was "shortening his swing and taking inside fastballs through the middle and to right-center field".
Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun reporters were unhappy with that assessment however, and sought their own evaluation of Ryan Zimmerman. When asked what Zimmerman has been doing differently, he simply told Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun reporters "I keep my eye on the ball". Plain and simple enough but Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun reporters needed further elaboration and a better story as they can't always rely on scouts like spoiled little Buster Fucking Olney. "I, like, keep my eye on the ball when it's coming at me" said Zimmerman,"I swing at it, pretty hard, and then I run to first base". Zimmerman was quick to add that it did in fact help to have Adam Dunn hitting behind him, a point already made in the dick nosed Buster Olney's stupid article. Before wrapping up the interview, Zimmerman was asked what he thought of ESPN's hack douche bag reporter Buster Olney. Zimmerman shrugged his shoulders and said "I don't know him". Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun reporters translated Zimmerman's body language and unfamiliarity with Buster Olney as complete disgust and utter hatred of ESPN's own prick faced pussy, Buster Olney.
Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun reporters thanked Ryan Zimmerman for sitting down with Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun by sending him a gracious letter with a picture of Buster Olney dressed in a Nazi SS uniform. Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun reporters have not, and will not acknowledge that the photo of Buster Olney titled "Kaiser Von Vagina Breath" was photo shopped.


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