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Robinson Cano and Damaso Marte Rejoin Yankees with Injuries. They're also Retarded.

posted Mar 14, 2009, 9:25 AM by Steven Seagal
Both Robinson Cano and Damaso Marte returned to the Yankees yesterday from the WBC and quickly scheduled appointments with team physician Chris Ahmad for this morning. Much to the astonishment of the Yankees, both players were injured during the WBC but failed to notify the team that pays them.
Marte, the fucking genius, strained a chest muscle lifting a 25 lb weight while under no supervision from trainers or coaches. This injury occurred prior to the elimination game between the Netherlands and the Dominican Republic, a game in which Marte pitched 1 inning in relief. Apparently Marte, on top of being a fucking genius, is also a certified physician too because he's knowledgeable enough to assess how long he will be out of commission, estimating he'll be out for at least two days and at most four.
If you think Dr. Marte is a genius, then Cano must be world fucking renowned string theorist. Cano's right shoulder felt "a little tight" BEFORE he left to join the Dominican Republic's WBC team and went on to play every inning of the three tournament games and 18 of the possible 27 innings in the exhibition games prior to the tournament. That's right. He was injured before the WBC, while he was with the Yankees, and still failed to mention that his shoulder was injured.
Of course, these injuries could be less than minor, having zero effect on their ability to start the season, but the point is that once injured, they should have immediately left the Dominican team and sought medical treatment. Marte has been in the big leagues for ten seasons. He should have known better. I'm sure G.I. Joe Girardi will have a few words with Dr. Marte following this mornings checkup.
As for Robby "The String Theorist" Cano, he shouldn't have even reported for the WBC! After last seasons struggles and the off season trade rumors, Cano should have been endearing himself to the team thus proving his worth within the Yankees organization. Instead, Cano, ever the proud Dominican, decides to play through injury, batting a solid .231along the way. I'm not the racist type, but damn, these Dominicans are so stupid, they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Hey, actually that's not racist. The Puerto Ricans are still competing in the WBC while the Dominicans were eliminated by the fucking Netherlands.
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