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RIP "Shea."

posted Apr 3, 2009, 4:40 PM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Apr 3, 2009, 6:11 PM ]
The new Mets' ballpark, as everyone knows (if you don't know it, actually, stop reading this.  If you don't follow baseball closely enough to know, you should go back to the Care Bears' website or wherever the fuck you came from.) is named Citi Field.  It is named for its sponsor, Citigroup - who signed a 20 year, $400M deal (a deal even DJ Truth couldn't snag) for the naming rights to the stadium.  Am I devastated?  No.  Am I disappointed?  Yes.  I mean, I can't fault them for doing it - knowing that Citi's deal pays for the vast majority of Johan's salary for the duration of his contract -  and much more for another 14 years (13 if they pick up the 7th year.  I'm sure they will.) - makes me understand it completely.

I wouldn't care as much if the previous park's name was generic - but it wasn't.  Shea was named for William Shea, the guy who is responsible for bringing the National League back to NY five years after the departure of the Dodgers and Giants  by threatening to form a third league to compete with MLB if it didn't make it happen.  No team was willing to relocate, so they expanded both the AL and the NL by two teams each.  The AL teams were the LA Angels and Washington Senators, but the NL teams are the real story - The NY Mets and the Houston Colt .45s.  What an awesome name.

By the way, I feel I must point out that, as I'm writing this, the following exchange is taking place during the Red Sox at Mets exhibition game:

Kevin Burkhardt is reporting from Pepsi Porch in right field - Gary and Ron are in the booth.  Keith is wandering around somewhere, probably eating hot dogs:

Burkhardt: referring to a ball Tatis hit off nearly the top of the wall in left center in the previous half inning:  "Hey guys, you know, I'm kinda close, do you want me to ask Tatis if he thought that ball was out before?"
Ron laughing
Gary:  "I'm sure he could hear you from where you are..."
Burkhardt: "FERNANDO!"
Gary, Ron laughing
Burkhardt: "FERNANDO!"
Burkhardt: "He's not responding... Sorry"
Gary: "You have a very resonant voice, you know..."
Ron:  "Boy, Kev, you-"
Burkhardt yelling over Ron's voice: "FERNANDO!"

Anyway the point is that I'm glad Shea was honored with the Stadium, which made him a household name.  I'll miss hearing it.  But I'm most saddened by the thought that in 30 years, kids won't have the word "Shea" in their vocabulary.  "Except your kids," you say.  Wrong, fuckface.  My kids won't be able to read, write, or speak because I'm going to keep them locked in the basement with all the lights off.  Big Mets fans will have it, but it won't be in the regular baseball lexicon.  In fact, it might be an Aflac trivia question one day.  Wow.  RIP "Shea."

Doesn't look quite so bad from way out here.  It did have its charm, though, didn't it?