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Red Sox Interested In HanRam! How Crazy is that?

posted Dec 30, 2008, 5:33 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 12:20 PM ]
It has been reported by both John Heyman and Tom Verducci that the Boston Red Sox, in wake of their failure to obtain Mark Teixeira, have made a play to reacquire Hanley Ramirez from The Florida Marlins. Reports are preliminary so all that is known is that the Red Sox are "interested in Ramirez". If any team has a pulse they are interested in Hanley Ramirez. Sorry Pittsburgh, You don't fit into this mold. HanRam is the type of guy every team wants. HanRam is young (cheap), can hit for power, got some motor and can hit for average. Take this at whatever value you want, but Joe Morgan has stated that he thinks HanRam has potential to be an all-time great player. Yeah I know, Joe Morgan is the same guy that said that when a player runs the basepaths, he runs in sequential order from 1st to 3rd and finally to homeplate.  His assessment was a bit premature but not far off considering HanRam is compiling gaudy stats at a young age. He hasn't even hit his prime yet and he is going to be one sweet ass prime aged beef. I don't mean that in a gay way, I swear.
The report is that the Red Sox would have to throw in a lot for HanRam. Umm, Isn't that obvious? What else will be reported? Fire is Hot? Dr. Foxyrotten has herpes? Women are stupid? Come on. I bet there are lots of teams that ask about HanRam only to have the Marlins ask the inquiring teams for their souls and their first born sons' blood.
Of course now that this is up on the information superhighway, The Red Sox will end up trading  a case of polaroid film and a Best of Spin Doctors cassette for HanRam.