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Omar Minaya to Second-Guessing Media and Fans: "Happy Now, Fuckers?"

posted May 7, 2009, 10:23 AM by Steven Seagal
New York Mets General Manager Omar Minaya held a "press conference" today to discuss the status of a member of another team, an unprecedented move that is apparently due to the Mets' offseason interest in the subject of the conference - LA Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez and his recently-announced 50 game suspension for use of performance enhancing drugs.   It turns out, the "press conference," wasn't really a traditional press conference at all.  When the media was completely assembled, Omar strode to the podium, unveiled a picture of Manny Ramirez (see right), and said simply, "I want to address this to all of the media and fans who second guessed our decision not to aggressively pursue or sign Manny in the offseason:  Are you happy now, fuckers?"  He then issued a non-verbal challenge to all assembled reporters by staring them each in the face, pausing occasionally to say "Well?" to the silent audience.  As the uncomfortable silence ensued, Omar began to call out reporters by name.  "Filip Bondy, you look like you might want to say something," he said, addressing the NY Daily News reporter.  "No?  Huh?  I thought signing Manny was a "no brainer" back in January?" he said after Bondy silently dropped his eyes and looked at the floor.  "Dan, do you still think we were "silly" for not signing Manny?" he continued, this time singling out blogger and NJ Star Ledger reporter Dan Graziano, who had just arrived late and was trying to silently close the door behind him.  Graziano became flustered and quickly found a vacant seat without answering.  "Do I look silly to any of you?" Omar continued, now addressing the whole contingent of beat writers.  He then let a few more minutes of the unbearably uncomfortable silence continue before finally adding in an openly mocking and confrontational tone, "I hope you all learned something today about your collective baseball acumen and about why I'm in charge of this team while you're in charge of your little blogs and masturbatory columns.  In closing, you can all go fuck yourselves."

Eh, sometimes shit happens, right Manny?