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NY Mets Release Poop Mustache

posted Mar 10, 2009, 12:29 PM by Steven Seagal
This is a really, really immature headline.  But before you judge me - the Mets released Duaner "Dirty" Sanchez today.  Wait a second, fuck you - that was a funny headline.  Go ahead and re-read it.  I'll wait.
Ok, stop laughing now.
Sanchez never lived up to his 2006 campaign after he was sidelined on July 31st of that year with a separated shoulder caused by a late night taxi cab car crash in Miami.  I'll miss his sidearm delivery and awesome nickname, but he was never able to regain his velocity or his dominance after that fateful night in Miami.  At the time, Duaner said of the crash - which occurred at like 3 AM - that he went with his cousin to go get some food.  Obviously he was full of shit, but if he wasn't it would have been a lot cheaper to order room service.  His release this year saves the Mets - and costs Duaner - $1.6M of salary.  So long, Duaner.  I'd say you will be missed, but we've been missing you ever since July 31, 2006 - so I guess you won't be.
Check out that poop mustache.  Awesome.