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NY Mets Regret Hiring Mr. Bill as Strength and Conditioning Coach

posted Jun 6, 2009, 7:11 AM by Steven Seagal
The NY Mets opening day starting lineup was as follows:

  1. Jose Reyes, SS
  2. Daniel Murphy, LF
  3. David Wright, 3B
  4. Carlos Delgado, 1B
  5. Carlos Beltran, CF
  6. Ryan Church, RF
  7. Brian Schneider, C
  8. Luis Castillo, 2B
  9. Johan Santana, P
Currently, Reyes, Delgado and Church are on the DL.  Beltran just came back to the team after missing about a week with a knee injury.  Schneider just came back to the team after missing the first two months of the season.    Oliver Perez is currently on the DL with a knee injury.  J.J. Putz will have surgery on his elbow, costing him more than 2 months of time.  Angel Pagan and Ramon Martinez were called up to fill some of the voids in the outfield and at short and are now currently on the DL with groin and finger injuries, respectively.  John Maine should be ready to make his next start after an "illness" that also suspiciously added some time to Beltran's absence.  When an organization like the Mets say theres an "illness," you better start worrying.  It won't be too long before he's having season ending surgery.

We called over to the front office and asked Omar if his other, unreported offseason acquisition - namely that of Mr. Bill as Strength and Conditioning Coach - could be to blame for any of the rash of injuries.  Omar wasn't available but they put us through to Bill directly.  We informed Mr. Bill that we were reporters from Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun and he agreed to give us a comment for the story, saying "Oh noooooooooooo!  Reyes has a hamstring tear!"

JJ Putz needs elbow surgery!!  Ohh nooooooooooo!