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NY Mets Continue To Lull NL East Into False Sense of Security

posted Jul 6, 2009, 4:57 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Jul 6, 2009, 5:19 AM ]
The NY Mets have apparently decided to continue their rope-a-dope strategy through their most recent 3 game series against their NL East "rivals," getting swept despite tearing the cover off the ball and producing an astounding 3 runs in 3 games (!).  "Lots of people will second guess this move," manager Jerry Manuel said after the game, "but if we really want to appear weak before making a huge stretch run, we're going to need to get swept by a team that lost 12 of its last 15 games."
Livan Hernandez started off the series in true veteran fashion, following his manager's orders to "just go out there and groove em" and "try not to make it through the 3rd" to the absolute letter.  Nieve, knowing that his spot in the rotation is less than secure with Ollie set to make his return to the rotation, made a cursory effort to keep the Mets in the game and flirted with a quality start.  "I was worried about Fernando because he only gave up 3 runs - but ultimately, the 6 walks in 5 2/3 innings was just what I was looking for.  Plus, the 3 runs was a nearly insurmountable lead for us anyway, even if they gave us 81 outs to get 'em."

The weekend series was going "swimmingly," according to Manuel, until Johan Santana, ever the clubhouse cancer, bucked his manager's orders and pitched 7 strong innings of 3 hit, 2 run baseball.  "Johan just isn't a team player," Manuel lamented, "but the chemistry here is strong enough that one bad apple won't ruin the bunch - I think we proved that today by not scoring him any runs and handing him a loss for his disobedience."  All-star 3rd baseman and strong clubhouse presence David Wright agreed with his manager, saying "did you think I wanted to strike out twice and continue my precipitious drop in average?  Of course not.  But what this team needs right now is a backbreaking losing streak and to limp into the all-star break."  He then winked meaningfully and nudged reporters with his elbow, saying "you know what I mean?"