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My Petulant Gripe with's MLB Page (with Updated Editor's Note!)

posted Mar 20, 2009, 5:47 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Mar 20, 2009, 6:05 AM ]
Maybe it's just my computer logjammed with 38 copies of "Logjammin" (You can never get enough of Karl Hungus and Bunny Lebowski), but has anyone realized that the MLB page on has had the same AP wire picture and story about the Nationals home opener from LAST year? You know, that really grinds my gears. Unfortunately, my gears shouldn't be grindin', because really, it's not a big deal at all. I shouldn't be upset with seeing Ryan "ZimZam" Zimmerman and the ever jovial wifebeating diabeticoholic (Alcoholic + Diabetic= twice the fun!) Dmitri "Da Meat Hook" Young on the front page because as you can see from my many descriptions of the two gentleman, I am entertained. My point is that someone at has really dropped the ball here. Why not put a picture from the WBC or a hot prospect ripping through spring training or maybe a game that was played after the National's home opener, like say, one from the playoffs? Of course, immediately after you read this, you'll dawdle yourself (New Euphemism for Masturbation!) over to the MLB page on and the lead story will be changed. You'll say to yourself, "But Steven, the page has a picture of Manny playing Cricket or A-Rod kissing himself, maybe you should check things before you post items on the interweb". And I'll just say fuck you and thanks for reading, you dumb bastards!

(Editors Note: Being the intelligent functioning alcoholic that I am, I just checked on one computer here at work and it was still ZimZam and Da Meat Hook. I checked on another and the lead story was none other than a hot prospect ripping through spring training! Well you can call me the dumb bastard now but my initial statement stands. Fuck You. No, really, Fuck you.)
Steven Seagal,
Mar 20, 2009, 6:12 AM