Cubs OF Milton Bradley was notified by MLB authorities yesterday that he was being suspended for one game following a May 6th incident where the brim of Bradley's hat made slight contact with umpire Paul Vanover. The argument began after Vanover called Bradley out on strikes. Initially the suspension was for two games, but Bradley appealed the MLB disciplinary decision and asked for a one game suspension.
When asked how he felt about the suspension and why he didn't appeal for no suspension at all, Bradley smiled and said "You have no idea. This is going to be awesome!". When asked for clarification Bradley said "I wanted it to be like 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'. Ferris only had one day off and he went to a museum, he drove a Ferrari, he even sang during a parade". Bradley has always had a short temper but this time, it appears that Bradley's actions on May 6th were premeditated. Bradley told reporters "When I signed with the Cubs, I knew I wanted to cut work one day and do all the things Ferris Bueller did on his day off, but I'd get in trouble. I figured I might as well do what I do best and get suspended".
Cubs Manager Lou Piniella said "I should have known what Milton was up to. He's been calling me Mr. Rooney since spring training. He always tries to make a mohawk of his hair in the shower too". A few of the players noticed a difference in Bradley over the weeks too, especially after May 6th. For example, Cubs shortstop Ryan Theriot said "After he was ejected that day, he started referring to himself as Abe Froman, the Sausage king of Chicago. I just thought he was talking about his penis or something". Cubs picther Ryan Dempster told reporters that Bradley was much happier after May 6th, when he knew a suspension was coming. "I always thought he just liked those old Twix commercials" said Dempster, "you know the 'chigachigaaaahh Ohhh Yeaaaah' ones. He was always singing it. Turns out that song was at the end of Ferris Bueller." He then added, "I fucking hate that song".