News‎ > ‎MLB‎ > ‎

Mike Lupica "gets look" at Adenhart Tragedy

posted Apr 11, 2009, 8:59 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Apr 11, 2009, 9:57 AM ]
Sometimes I pick up a copy of the NY Daily News or the NY Post and read a headline or two just to spark an immediate visceral reaction. Yesterday I purchased  the Daily News to get said reaction and I came to the story of Nick Adenhart who tragically died while starring in a real life Fast and the Furious movie. Some other people died too but they didn't pitch for the Angels. The Daily News editors gave this story to Mike Lupica, whose work I enjoy reading for masochistic reasons. Today I'll give you my reactions to this Lupica article. Why? Because I'm a nice guy, you fuckface. I'll start with the title and work my way through the story so the Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun readers know the real story behind the untimely death of Nick Adenhart as told by Mike Lupica.

With Nick Adenhart's death, Joba Chamberlain gets look at tragedy from the other side
Holy shit, Joba Chamberlain killed Nick Adenhart! And Joba "gets look" at this tragedy from the side where living people exist. Joba must summon the spirit of the Iriquois moon eagle to have this ability. No human could ever grasp the concept of death while still living!

This time the gifted young baseball pitcher wasn't the drunk driver, the way Joba Chamberlain was.
So wait, Joba Chamberlain didn't kill Nick Adenhart, but he killed someone else? What a relief. Here I was worried sick and it turns out Joba Chamberlain didn't kill a gifted young baseball pitcher, but some nameless, faceless civilian. Phew, now I can rest easy.

Nick Adenhart of the Angels, fresh off six scoreless innings against the A's, a kid with everything ahead of him the way it is supposed to be ahead of Chamberlain, was the victim of an alleged drunk driver. This is how it happens with drunk driving when the policeman doesn't pull you over in time.
Now Mike Lupica blames Nick Adenhart's death on the tardiness of the Fullerton Police force. I hope you're happy Fullerton Police. You are now sleeping with the blood of a gifted young baseball pitcher on your hands.
I also enjoyed the line "the way it is supposed to be ahead of Chamberlain". It's supposed to be ahead of Nick Adenhart but alas, he is gone, and only Joba can understand that. But since Joba is still alive, isn't everything still ahead of him? Does Mike Lupica know something we don't know?

The police said the man who caused the accident, another 22-year-old named Andrew Gallo...was under the influence of alcohol when his mini-van ran a red light a few hours after Nick Adenhart made his fourth major league start.
We got ourselves a murder mystery here. First, Joba Chamberlain killed Nick Adenhart but then we learn he killed some civilian instead. Then the police are to blame for the death. Now we learn Andrew Gallo killed Nick Adenhart. I can't wait until this is made into a movie starring me, Steven Seagal, as the grisled NY Daily News reporter Ramon "Mike Lupica" Hernandez trying to get to the bottom of this tragedy.

Adenhart was a Los Angeles Angel, who had fought back so hard from injury and once again made himself a young guy to watch, a young guy good enough to get a start the first week of the season.
Not to sound like an insensitive prick here, but all of the regular starters for the Angels are on the DL. If they weren't injured, Adenhart wouldn't have died. I guess it's all John Lackey, Kelvim Escobar and Ervin Santana's faults that Adenhart is dead.

Tony Reagins talked about the young man's poise and said, "He had a lot of energy, but he didn't show it."
Dead people don't show energy either so I guess a lot hasn't changed.

this isn't just a story about a young athlete dying too soon. This is about all who die in this senseless way.
Mike Lupica isn't putting the Fullerton police, Joba Chamberlain and Andrew Gallo on trial here. He's putting the whole system of senseless deaths on trial! Mike Lupica is the Martin Luther King jr. of senseless death justice. That could be the name of the movie! Senseless Death Justice. That's gold, my friends.

This story about drinking and driving that never changes no matter how the night ends: The drunk behind the wheel always having the potential to be the most dangerous guy in the world.
I always thought the insane world leaders with vast arsenals and innumerable nuclear weapons at their disposal were the most dangerous guys in the world. Again, I am humbled by the sagacious Mike Lupica.

Maybe now, after a $400 fine and nine months' probation and the loss of his driver's license for 60 days... Chamberlain fully realizes how truly lucky he really was last October.
Yeah Joba, You're supposed to have your whole life ahead of you. You didn't kill a gifted young baseball pitcher this time, but next time, you won't be so lucky.

What Joba Chamberlain knows for sure is that the pictures of himself on the front pages of the New York papers and in that video are nothing compared to the ones from Fullerton
Looks like Joba has got his work cut out for him. He can't be outdone by a dead gifted young baseball pitcher. Everything has got to be bigger and better in New York. England had the Princess Di tragedy. New York got 9/11. New Orleans got Hurricane Katrina. New York got a dead Heath Ledger. The ball is in your hands, Joba.

[Adenhart] was with some friends after [the game]. They wanted to go dancing

Nick Adenhart, Betty Sue, Biff and Biff's main squeeze Mary Anne were going dancing to this new thing called rock and/or roll. That is until their sock hopping night was cut short by the Fullerton Police, John Lackey, Kelvim Escobar, Ervin Santana and Andrew Gallo.

Joba isn't the only young athlete who ever got himself over the legal limit for alcohol and thought he was just perfect to drive home. Or to the next bar.
I see what Lupica did there. He's calling Joba, a full fledged member of the Winnebago nation, an alcoholic. Lupica, that is racist. You cannot assume that just because Joba is an American Indian that he doesn't know when to stop drinking. This is why you can't trust some greaseball wop to write a normal article without letting his prejudices get in the way.

Well that's it for today. I hope you enjoyed reading this wonderfully insightful Mike Lupica article with Steven Seagal..
Comments