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Maddon unshaken by Yanks adding Teixeira

posted Dec 24, 2008, 9:22 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 12:26 PM ]
Yes, that's an actual headline on espn.com. What the fuck do we care what Joe Maddon thinks? I know he's a manager for a rival team in the Yankees' division but did a journalist seriously pursue Maddon's opinion on the matter? Should we ask Terry Francona what he thinks about Nick Swisher? Or how about Lou Piniella's feeling on K-Rod? Yeah sure I may be nitpicking because the Marky Mark deal was enormous but journalists don't have to ask a question when they already know the answer. If the Yankees were willing to blow $82.5M on AJ Burnett's glass arm then what made people think they weren't going to give Marky Mark the godfather offer?  Stupid journalists and their empty credibility. Anyway in light of this headline we think we should ask people their opinions on random subjects. It would be our dream to see these headlines grace the cover of the New York Times, The Daily News and the Neo-Nazi Newsletter. In fact we already have a dream journal of possible headlines. Here are a few:

 

"Justin Tuck indifferent to shape of pasta bowl" 

"Tony Romo unfazed by Angler fish population"

"Brandon Dubinsky rattled by color of stapler"

"Plaxico Burress joyous of toaster"

"Donovan McNabb perplexed of rule book"

"Hines Ward scared of printer cartridge"

"Dr. Foxyrotten elated with plastic bag"

"Terrell Owens skeptical of milk crate"

"Derek Jeter unwavering on car battery"

"Jose Reyes firm on door stop"
 

We can go on like this for years. Maybe when we make a million dollars we'll actually have the access to ask David Wright about unicorns or Omar Minya about step stools. Seriously people, send us cash. We don't care if there is blood on it, just send it fast.

(Editor's notes: Romo would be unfazed because he's a faggot who doesn't recognize the vicious majesty of the Angler fish. Also McBitch being confused of the rule book isn't quite so random considering the circumstances of the Bengals-Eagles game. Fucking idiot)

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