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Luis Castillo Dead After Falling Down Dugout Stairs

posted Aug 5, 2009, 3:41 PM by Steven Seagal
The New York Mets' season to this point was summed up by Keith Hernandez's comments after Luis Castillo died last night as a result of falling down some steps. Mr. Hernandez just kept incredulously repeating the line "Are you serious?" a few times before play-by-play announcer Gary Cohen answered Keith's rhetorical question with "Yes, Keith. Luis Castillo is dead".

For the sake of the fans in attendance, Luis Castillo's lifeless body was carried in the upright position out of the dugout and gently thrown into the Citi Field furnace. Those fans who stayed until the bitter end of last night's loss, were notified upon their exit that this was the Mets' third straight loss, Luis Castillo is dead. In fact, those were the exact words ominously uttered over the stadium PA system. "This is the Mets third straight loss. Luis Castillo is dead" boomed over the stadium PA system with the least amount of compassion possible.

Luis Castillo's funeral will be held at dusk this Friday at Citi field.  All season ticket holders are welcome to attend the funeral on July 15 when the Mets give away Magnetic Picture Frames to the first 15,000 fans.

In other more recent news, the Mets scored 9 runs, shut out the Cards and Jon Niese is dead too.