News‎ > ‎MLB‎ > ‎

JC Romero Flips Over Cars, Wreaks Havoc In Downtown Philadelphia In Protest of Steroid Suspension

posted Jan 8, 2009, 12:45 PM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 12:11 PM ]
JC Romero vehemently protested MLB's decision to ban him for 50 games for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs by flipping over cars, lighting fires, and looting downtown Philadelphia.  Law enforcement officials, aware of Romero's identity, initially attempted to negotiate with him via bullhorn, but the noise seemed only to enrage Romero further, causing him to jump through the plate glass window of a luggage store and begin stockpiling bags in the middle of Broad St.  He then promptly set fire to the bags and began screaming at puzzled onlookers, who had been gathering in confusion since the incident began.  Philadelphia Police then enlisted the services of zoologist Karen Becker.  By the time Becker arrived, Romero had climbed to the top of a lightpost and proceeded to scream incoherently at the police below. Becker was finally able to subdue Romero with 5 tranquilizer darts to his buttocks.  According to Becker, the dosage required to subdue a rampaging silverback gorilla is contained in 2 darts.  In her professional opinion, Romero "must've been messing with some pretty serious shit."  Becker continued "c'mon, man, 2-0 with a 0.00 ERA in 7 1/3 innings in the 2008 postseason?  Those are PCP numbers."
 
 
Romero, seen here in a more subdued state, beats his chest on the way to the dugout to commence his standard postgame ritual of drinking 6 gallons of gasoline.
Romero, left of car that he overturned, appears to sufffer a moment of confusion before bolting for the nearest lightpost...
...which he promptly climbed, and began yelling at police.
Comments