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Groundbreaking News From The New York Times Intrepid Sports Reporters!

posted Feb 26, 2009, 7:10 AM by Steven Seagal
The New York Times continues to mesmerize the public with it's relentless pursuit of the truth, with nary a worry for the quantum of sting said truth may deliver. The New York Times, ever the agent of fine timing, brings forth their news to coincide with the changing of guards, the tides of change, and the tiding of seasons. The New York Times also strokes the proverbial member so gently, bringing the reader to climax's brink, before finally (finally!) unleashing the story that will change the course of the 65 ft thrice masted schooner that is your life. The story, ahem, back breaking, earth shattering, ear drum rupturing story in this case involves a certain third basemen for the New York Yankees baseball club. Apparently, Mr. Alex Rodriguez has limited fan support in the wake of his admission of illegal performance enhancing drug use. According to the poll, sixty percent of the beleaguered public is bothered by steroid use and forty four percent believe that Mr. Rodriguez shouldn't be allowed into the hall of fame. I assume this refers to the building itself in Cooperstown, NY, and the reason is because he's a domo. Forty one percent of those polled have a negative opinion of Mr. Rodriguez while a mere seventeen percent have a positive opinion. That seventeen percent also checked the box marked "Dominican" on their poll sheet. The forty one percent checked the box marked "Not Dominican". The other forty two percent refused to take part in the poll because they already knew that no one liked A-Rod, they think the New York Times sports section is pretentious drivel that sucks domo dick and whoever wants to poll people on A-Rod can go fuck themselves.