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For Christ's Sake, Give The Man Back His Savings!

posted Jul 29, 2009, 7:05 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Jul 30, 2009, 10:13 AM ]
Yesterday I was wearing my customized authentic "Giambino" Yankees jersey, sipping, no POUNDING a few Heinekens, just reading the usual anti-Red Sawx websites I tend to peruse thrice hourly, when I stumbled upon this gem about Dice-Gay. Apparently Matsuzaka is unhappy with his training regiment that lazy Americans use and it's taking it's toll on his savings. Here are his quotes:

“If I’m forced to continue to train in this environment, I may no longer be able to pitch like I did in Japan, The only reason why I managed to win games during the first and second years was because I used the savings of the shoulder I built up in Japan. Since I came to the Major Leagues, I couldn’t train in my own way, so now I’ve lost all those savings.”

Normally, this fair and appropriate website shies away from the usual hate spewing vitriol that often fills websites serving larger, racist audiences, but it's about time we step forward and call out the Red Sox for this infraction. This site has been known to serve as a moral compass in the past and we wish to continue in this grand tradition.

Dice-K traveled here from far away. He came from far, like really far, almost as far as China! Those people eat rice at every meal. They squint a lot too, presumably from all the sun and rice eating. Who are the Red Sox to tell him how to eat his rice? Who are the Red Sox to tell him how to throw a ball? He's Korean or something. He's been throwing baseballs long before he got here, and he did it with success.

Even worse than being told he can't train the way his forefathers, the Samurais, did is the fact that the greedy Red Sox took his savings. They didn't just take a little bit of his savings. The Red Sox are responsible for the loss of "all" of his savings. That's just despicable. Ho Chi Minh must be rolling in his grave.

You see, the Yankees may have a string of questionable moves and strategies, but at least they didn't steal from anyone. In contrast, the Yankees, my beloved and honest Yankees, were nothing but fair with Dice-K's cousin, Chien-Ming Wang. I mean, come on, people, Look at the evidence. Hank Steinbrenner wanted National League rules changed after Wang injured his foot running in the base paths. Was Hank Steinbrenner right? Absolutely not, but at least he's got his player's back. That's caring for a guy, Red Sox Nation. Looks like the Red Sux have a lot to learn from Yankees. They should start by giving Dice-K back his savings. All of his savings.