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A-Rod Blasts Torre Via 3rd Person Narrative

posted Jan 27, 2009, 8:23 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 11:46 AM ]
Throughout this entire Joe Torre book "scandal," I keep reading quotes, ostensibly conveying A-rod's feelings on the matter.  The only problem is, they're never attributed to A-rod.  It's always "friends of A-rod" or "people close to A-rod."  Note the plural - it's often present - which conjures up images of a reporter standing around interviewing a bunch of A-rod groupies.  My first thought was that this is hilarious, in that it makes it look like A-rod is too much of a pussy to come out and say anything about Torre himself.  Then I realized what he's doing.  You see, I'm also reading a lot of Torre apologists saying that he's not breaking a golden, classic rule of baseball in airing out his former organization's dirty laundry and making them look like gossipy teenagers - because the book is written in a 3rd person narrative, not by Torre himself.  Therefore, in a brilliant subtle mockery of Torre, A-rod is responding in a 3rd person narrative, having all his friends do the dirty work of calling Torre out.  A-rod is a comic genius, calling Torre out for hiding behind Tom Verducci and his sources by hiding behind "friends" and "people close to him." 
Turns out, A-rod is a master of ironic sarcasm - the media is just too blind to notice it.  Either that, or A-rod has always been a pussy and is responding in his true pussy fashion, and the only similiarities in style of attack are due to the fact that Torre is acting like a pussy, too.  I can't tell.
A-rod sorta puts his arm around Torre, and Torre almost gives A-rod a pat in the better days.