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This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

posted Jun 1, 2009, 8:04 AM by Steven Seagal
I imagine most people mindlessly scan their bookmarked websites to fill the tedious voids in the day. One of my bookmarked pages is ESPN. Lately, it's become quite clear to me that a monkey, as opposed to the action movie star here, is the site administrator.
I would never let this be put up on my website. Never in a bazillion years.

Here is the definition of Acronym via Merriam Webster.

ACRONYM: a word (as NATO, radar, or laser) formed from the initial letter or letters of each of the successive parts or major parts of a compound term.

Really ZanierRules? You really think Sidney Crosby is an acronym for invisible? If you're going to post a comment, post something funny or at least blatantly racist. Also, make sure the comment makes sense, you fuckwad. For that, ZanierRules deserves a swift kick in the face on a Saturday night with a steel toe grip kodiak work boot and a trip to the hospital bloodied and bashed. I expect this from a kid who is dumb enough to put his full name and birthday on the ESPN SportNation profile.

You see, people, this is why we don't have commenter privileges on each and every story. We'd be inundated with ZanierRules' wisdom or someone named Morty quoting Ghostbusters 2.

Actually if we did have commenter capabilities on each story, I'd probably delete the serious and unfunny comments. Or I'd probably just alter them to make the commenter sound racist. That's right. Don't mess with Steven Seagal.