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ESPN To Cover Inauguration of First Major Sports Figure Elected to US Presidency

posted Jan 15, 2009, 4:31 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Feb 15, 2009, 11:58 AM ]
ESPN has announced that it will cover the inauguration ceremony of US President-Elect Barack Obama, who as of this time was not known to have any major sports affiliation aside from his affinity for criticizing the BCS.  This will be the first Presidential Inauguration covered by ESPN, which must be due to Obama's significant contribution to the sports world.  At press time, Ramon Hernandez Put Down the Gun has not ascertained which sport Obama is associated with, but it is assumed to be one of Baseball, Football, Basketball, Golf, Swimming, or Soccer.  In actuality, it could be any sport, from cricket to curling, ruling out only NHL Hockey, which ESPN refuses to admit exists.  Since Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun correspondents cover competitive eating rather closely, and have previously never encountered Obama at Coney Island, we feel confident that he is not a champion competitive eater.
The bottom line is the inauguration is the kick off of a truly historic presidency of a man who has had or continues to have some sort of connection to a major sports franchise at some point in his life, and as such deserves coverage by the largest sports television network in the country.  Since we here at Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun have not heard of any Obama sports connection, we must assume that he didn't distinguish himself in whatever role he played - but that should not take away from what his presidency means to the sports world, which we, although not currently sure what that is, are confident that ESPN will explain during the inauguration coverage.  Cynics who have said that ESPN's decision to cover the Obama inauguration is further evidence of the media's fawning relationship with Obama are misguided.  We are confident that this has everything to do with his sports affiliation, whatever that may be, and are positive that any other president who had a major sports affiliation, such as a former MLB team owner and potential commisioner of Major League Baseball, or a former sportscaster, would be given comparable coverage on the unimpeachably apolitical and objective sports network.
Any one of the below images could be evidence of the apparent sports connection that would trigger ESPN's coverage:

Except for this image, which would NOT explain any sports connection that would trigger ESPN coverage: