KY Jelly: A Rod Could Always Use A Little Grease!

posted Mar 8, 2009, 7:18 AM by Steven Seagal   [ updated Mar 8, 2009, 1:10 PM ]
We received a request from KY to partner with us in the infancy of Ramon Hernandez Put Down The Gun, but we didn't see it as much of a fit.  No pun intended.  Anyway, recent events have caused us to rethink our position, and we've put together a powerful advertising partnership for KY.  This is about as high profile as it gets:

"The pressures on a major league ballplayer in the sports media capital of the world are enormous, and sometimes, those pressures can interfere with your love life.  As you probably know, I don't see a problem with getting a little artificial help now and again, which is why I wish I knew about KY Intimate Lubricant long ago.  It would have helped me with my poetic romp with that dessicated bitch, Madonna.  But mostly, it would have saved my 2009 season.  You see, when I arrived in camp for the World Baseball Classic Dominican Team, I was held down and raped by a roid-raging Miguel Tejada and many others, including Adrian Beltre, David Ortiz, Hanley Ramirez, Jose Reyes, and Pedro Martinez in an innocent bit of hazing.  Their unyielding strength and force, though strangely comforting, also had disastrous effects on my body that will require surgery to repair.  If only I had my bottle of KY to hand them, they could've had their fun and I would still be playing for the Yanks this April.  Just because you're not a major league ballplayer doesn't mean you shouldn't be prepared for anything.  Always carry a bottle of KY, because you never know who is lurking around the next corner!  And remember, A Rod Could Always Use A Little Grease!

-Alex Rodriguez
Official Spokesman