This site is owned and maintained by me, Steven Seagal. You may remember me from a whole shitload of awesome movies, but I'm not going to waste my time recapping them for you. If you want to know more about me, search for me on wikipedia - but here are the basics:
1) I'm completely fucking awesome
2) Most of you don't know this, but I'm schizophrenic. Clearly, both of my personalities follow rule number 1. They're also both Giants and Rangers fans. One of them really likes college football and the Yankees. The other doesn't really care about college football, and is a Mets fan. Neither one of us could give a flying fuck about basketball.
3) My personalities bet against each other on every NFL football game. Pick the winner? Nope. Against the spread? Nope. Safeties. We bet safeties. For a million dollars. See for yourself, here.
4) Most of the time, I'm drunk.
5) Generally, I will keep my team allegiances from affecting the objectivity of this site.
6) Occasionally, a story will strike me so strongly that I will feel the need to editorialize on it. However, the stories will generally have a traditional, unbiased news voice.
7) Similarly, I will occasionally give certain personalities a forum to express their views on a subject they are passionate about.
8) Like the site? Who the fuck doesn't? Don't like it? Go fuck yourself, you're definitely a pussy and probably a member of the Philadelphia Eagles. Either way, you can email me and tell me about it at: Steven.email@example.com
9) You're welcome.